var Quotation=new Array() // do not change this!
Quotation[0] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Always trust the most annoying person you can find because he/she will always survive.";
Quotation[1] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
In school, teachers will always be interrupted mid-sentence by the end-of-class bell.";
Quotation[2] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.";
Quotation[3] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.";
Quotation[4] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.";
Quotation[5] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.";
Quotation[6] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.";
Quotation[7] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.";
Quotation[8] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.";
Quotation[9] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
You're likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of you sweetheart back home";
Quotation[10] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.";
Quotation[11] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.";
Quotation[12] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
People of TV never finish their drinks.";
Quotation[13] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
When you're done talking with someone on the phone, it's customary (and probably polite) not to greet them.";
Quotation[14] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Lightings always strike in the backyard of every house: there's no delay between the lightning and the thunder";
Quotation[15] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.";
Quotation[16] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.";
Quotation[17] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.";
Quotation[18] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.";
Quotation[19] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.";
Quotation[20] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.";
Quotation[21] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames (despite it being highly unlikely).";
Quotation[22] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Wearing a singlet or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.";
Quotation[23] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.";
Quotation[24] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon.";
Quotation[25] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.";
Quotation[26] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.";
Quotation[27] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
All single women have a cat.";
Quotation[28] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.";
Quotation[29] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.";
Quotation[30] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.";
Quotation[31] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.";
Quotation[32] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
If a phone line is broken, communication can be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying: Hello?, Hello?";
Quotation[33] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cutting - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boat in an accident.";
Quotation[34] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.";
Quotation[35] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
During a very emotional confrontation, instead of facing the person you are speaking to, it is customary to stand behind them and talk to their back.";
Quotation[36] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.";
Quotation[37] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them.";
Quotation[38] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.";
Quotation[39] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.";
Quotation[40] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.";
Quotation[41] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.";
Quotation[42] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.";
Quotation[43] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
You can always find a chainsaw whenever you're likely to need one.";
Quotation[44] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.";
Quotation[45] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Having a job of any kind will make all fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.";
Quotation[46] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Many musical instruments - especially wind instruments and accordions - can be played without moving the fingers.";
Quotation[47] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.";
Quotation[48] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.";
Quotation[49] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Guns are like disposable razors - if you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. You can always buy a new one.";
Quotation[50] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Make-up can safely be worn to bed without smudging.";
Quotation[51] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.";
Quotation[52] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.";
Quotation[53] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
If a man chews gum, he will be killed, but if a woman chews gum she will get laid.";
Quotation[54] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Walking by yourself in the dark always leads to disaster.";
Quotation[55] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
All watches and clocks on the planet are syncronized to the second.";
Quotation[56] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Building ventilation ducts are always perfectly clean.";
Quotation[57] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
If you lose an arm, your chest will expand on the same side.";
Quotation[58] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
No matter how fuzzy the photograph, it can be enlarged and enhanced to show the finest detail.";
Quotation[59] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Any computer, anywhere, even in the jungle, can hack into the most secure goverment system.";
Quotation[60] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
The chief of police is always black.";
Quotation[61] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Most cars are already running when you get in. If you must start the car, it will most likely fail to start or blow up.";
Quotation[62] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Any aliens from outer space that you meet will speak your language.";
Quotation[63] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
TV bar patrons never get drunk- even if they drink all day.";
Quotation[64] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment. But you'll never hear it to the end.";
Quotation[65] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.";
Quotation[66] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.";
Quotation[67] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
All handcuffs can easily be opened with nothing more than a paper clip.";
Quotation[68] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Grocery shopping bags are made out of brown paper and there is always enough shopping to fill two bags exactly.";
Quotation[69] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.";
Quotation[70] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. ";
Quotation[71] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Should you decide to defuse a bomb don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. ";
Quotation[72] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.";
Quotation[73] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22. ";
Quotation[74] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
You never need to look up the phone number for the pizza delivery service and the delivery guy is always psychic: you never need to tell him where you live or what you want on your pizza.";
Quotation[75] = "WHAT WE'VE LEARNT FROM THE MOVIES:
Always look behind you when you hear menacing violin music begin to play. ";
var Q = Quotation.length;
var whichQuotation=Math.round(Math.random()*(Q-1));
function showQuotation(){document.write(Quotation[whichQuotation]);}
showQuotation();